What does the quintessential East Van band look like?

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This is a question I have often pondered during my years of dwelling east of Ontario Street. While so many musicians, both transient and home-grown, lay their claim to that part of our city known for Vancouver Specials, unevenly paved alleyways, great coffee, bad sushi, and the odd stray bullet, there appears to be little cohesion in their genres, looks, or even attitudes.

It’s all over the map.

There are slews of imports from cities like Winnipeg and Sudbury. Having come from a hard and dirty place, they immediately lay a comfortable claim to East Van as they jam out their rye-and-weed-fuelled, Neil Young-inspired offerings. There are the hip hop kids, flashing misguided East Coast gang signs as they spit rhymes about flunking out of Van Tech and hustling 99 cent pizza money at the Joyce Skytrain station. There are the Commercial Drive hippies, with their patchouli-soaked fan base, their borrowed instruments, and their complete obliviousness to the fact that dreadlocks look ridiculous on a thirty-five year old white guy with a receding hairline. There are the well-adjusted blues players, the black-shirt-white-sleeves metal dudes, the green tea-sipping singer/songwriters, and throngs and throngs of ‘sweaters and library cards’ indie rockers. And the list goes on.

But all this diversity doesn’t mean that the stereotypical East Van band can’t be epitomized somehow. So, being a born-and-bred Vancouverite, I will take it upon myself to start the debate here in the pages of The Tyee by identifying what I believe to be the ultimate example of an East Van band -- Mongoose.

Taking the moniker from his beloved BMX bicycle, lifelong East Vancouver resident and Mongoose guitarist Shockk formed the band back in 2002 together with vocalist RC and bassist Johnny Wildkat. But it’s not just the name -- ie. the best BMX a poor kid could afford -- that screams “East Van” to me. There’s also that East Van work ethic (not everyone is on E.I.). After delivering its chart topping debut, 2003′s White Plastic Deer, Mongoose went on to tour the continent extensively, playing close to 300 gigs, and earning the title of “the best live band in Vancouver” in The Nerve magazine.

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And then there’s that distinct Mongoose style. The dark suits and big boots; 32 per cent Johnnie Cash, 65 per cent biker wedding, and three per cent Mickey Rourke. The perfect look for rocking out a malt-liquor-infused audience, or carrying out a contract killing.

Finally, and most importantly, there is that Mongoose sound. It’s diverse but succinct, embracing the style of Urge Overkill or My Bloody Valentine, the hooks of AC/DC and the Stooges, and the energy of Arctic Monkeys and Drive Like Jehu. Mongoose’s latest release, the brilliant Are You On My Side, is yet further testament to its ability to capture a sound that speaks to the East Van rocker in all of us; from the Strathcona character house scenesters and Hastings Sunrise troublemakers, to the Riley Park potheads and Sunset skate punks. Mongoose is your East Van voice. Cup your hand to ear and dance, you bastards.

So that’s my nominee: Mongoose. Got a better suggestion? Feel free to reply below in 3000 characters or less (that works out to 750 curse words). We’ll regroup in a month or so with an article reflecting on how stupid you all think I am. Can’t wait.

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Ron Coldham, Tyee 2009